he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
