just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
