My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
