Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
