omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
