You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
