And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
