We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
