I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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