He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
