Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This house was built for laser tag.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
