She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
