I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So squirting runs in the family.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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