I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
