Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
wow bdsm is so cute
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
