Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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