he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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