I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
