I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
