I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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