I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
