I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
