We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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