THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
