im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
