Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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