so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
