Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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