Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
