sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
