hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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