the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
