I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
