I hope mine doesn't look like that
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
vagina is talking i cant
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
