This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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