Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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