i just had sex bonerless
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
