If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
