Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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