what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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