Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
