Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The air taste purple.
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