Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
