playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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