It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
