Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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