i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
