I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
