Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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