Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
