I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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