So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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