made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
