So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Randomize
