i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
